Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Honestly, I wanna see you be brave.

Okay everybody. I have a little speech about myself.

Yes, I've said a few times that turning 25 is rough. I'm not lying. It's a hard hit to your emotional well-being and your mental stability. I've hit as rock bottom as I've ever hit (I don't think it was actually as rock bottom as I could go, but damn it felt low), and I went days where I'd sit in my bed or on my couch and just cry. Maybe an emotional commercial triggered it, or something heart-warming happened on a show, but eight times out of ten, it was for nothing. No reason. Just a giant lump in my throat, tears rolling down my cheeks, and my heart ripping all over, because something was happening to me. I didn't know what to do; I felt lost and alone, even though I have a great support system. I was stuck.

I started to make changes in my life. Hard, yes, everything I've done lately is hard. Just getting out of bed and being productive with my day is hard. It still is. But I started thinking of things I wanted to change in my life. What about me don't I like, or what about my life can I change for the better?

The first attempt was my career. I tried another job in my industry, only for a day (gave them free labor... YOU'RE WELCOME), but it made me realize how much I didn't want to do this anymore for a career. I need to seriously look at myself and my life and re-evaluate everything.

So clearly my career is something way more serious that needs a lot of my focus and attention. But what else did I want to change? Money problems are more than just taking a step to change them (yes, I know, I could find a second job just for some extra cash, but let's be honest - I'm lazy), so I can't do much about that. What else though? What has made me unhappy for a while that I can take it upon myself to change?


Don't get me wrong, ladies and gentlemen, I love my body. It keeps me alive, has killer lady curves, and I wouldn't even exist without it. There's nothing wrong with being a big beautiful woman, especially if you really own it, so I didn't want to change my body because I hated it, I wanted to change it because I was living a really unhealthy life. Pizzas and pastas and so much bread - I was gaining weight and it wasn't making me feel good about myself. And if you aren't feeling good about yourself, you need to change that.

Because everyone is amazing, in different ways. If you don't like yourself, or you don't feel amazing, change it. Not because I'm telling you to, because you want to. K? Glad we are all in the same boat with this.

So I began kicking bad habits. No more sugar in my tea (was that ever hard), no more binge-eating candy or chips or pizza, not eating white bread anymore, and no more ignoring what was in everything I ate. Holy crap, guys, was it ever hard.

I have a coworker who is all about fitness and eating clean and healthy, and she gave my roommate a meal plan, so I consistently (and annoyingly) asked for one for myself. I'm sure it was difficult to make (I can't eat a lot of fresh fruit, or garlic, or turkey), but when I received it, I couldn't wait to start it. I was finally taking the steps I needed (and let's not forget, the steps I wanted) in order to really jump start my new healthy lifestyle, and let me tell you... every one of you... it's already so worth it.

Lately, I've been weighing myself more because I'm no longer scared of the result, and I've found that I've lost a whopping 32 pounds. How cool is that, right? Just from eating healthy. Guys, I'm lazy, I barely exercise. Just cutting down on sugars and watching portion sizes can make this much of a difference:
Right? That's what losing 32 pounds looks like. I've never been happier or felt more accomplished about anything that I can think of really. It's amazing what you can achieve when you really set your mind to it.

Sure, I've still got thunder thighs, covered in stretch marks and cellulite, and I don't care. I'm not stopping until I get to my healthy goal weight - and I've only got 20 more pounds to go!

I just had to brag about myself, because of how ecstatic I am. I hope this is motivating to anyone that reads it, because if I can do something this life changing, and only by taking a few steps and staying determined, then I believe anyone can.

It does get better! :D

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